Rick opened the back door this morning and asked me to come out for a minute. Thinking that he wanted to show me something in the garden, or listen to his thoughts about how to implement an idea from my Backyard Dreams board on Pinterest, I excitedly stepped out the back door. "Isn't that amazing?" he asked. I hesitated and looked around. "Can you believe how great it feels out here?" There was a refreshing chill in the air, one we hadn't felt in a long time, almost as if the season is changing....but wait it's August 15, that can't happen right now. I am left with a dilemma of what to do with this out of the ordinary day, (or few upcoming, non-ordinary days) that don't make much sense in the mind of a non-meteorologist. I love the crisp, refreshing morning, but I enjoy it more because I've experienced the days that weren't so refreshing or beautiful.
It definitely is not your typical mid-August weather here in the south, but come to think of it, there has been very little about this summer that has been typical or normal. We experienced days on end of rain and clouds, not just our late afternoon thunderstorms that we normally have for most of June. In July, temperatures only reached 90 degrees 4 days compared to last year when temperatures were sweltering, only giving us four bearable days were below 90.
Far fewer days were spent at the park or the pool this summer. Our kids may have played indoors a lot more; read more books, played more board games and probably a bit more video games. I started the summer expecting arguments and disagreements and the frequent need to referee but was pleasantly surprised at the end of the summer that I had hardly blown my referee whistle and that our home had been overall ...peaceful. Truthfully, another out of the ordinary surprise of Summer 2013.
Our grass is still green and alive which is great unless you are one of our four sons wishing it was brown and crackly so there would be longer periods between mowing. Our water bill has been less because we haven't had to water our garden or front porch plants, or wash as many loads of beach towels. Our tomato plants thrived in all this rain, but not many of the other veggies we planted did very well at all.
Sometimes, seasons are confusing, unpredictable, or inconsistent, whether natural seasons of the year or seasons of life that we experience, but the truth of the matter is that another season will follow this one, and then another, then, another. Each season isn't always better than the one before but there is always benefit in each and without the hard ones, the ones that seem unbearable like last summer when 27 days of July were between 90-104 can we have appreciation for the easy pleasant ones.
I'm hearing lots of chatter about seasons right now. Yes, the change from summer to fall but also that we, as the body of Christ are entering in to a new season. Just as we may not understand every thing that will happen during the next season; whether revival breaks out in our country or town, whether our unsaved loved one comes to know Jesus, or whether this is the hardest season we have ever walked through, we can trust that just like the sun was there behind the clouds every rainy day in June doing the things the sun does, we can know and trust that our loving God, who knows 10, 50, 100 seasons from now, is with us, completely unchanged by the clouds and circumstances of the day or the season and He is doing what God does. He always loves us and He is always good and we can always trust Him to work things together for the good of those who are His.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
A Letter to the Newlywed Me-Note to Self
It's been 20 years since we committed to spend the rest of our lives together. What were we thinking? There was quite a bit of opposition to us getting married, he was just barely 18(and now we have a child that's almost 18)and I had been pretty fickle and around the block a time or two(or too many to count) when we had my fairy tale wedding(that was way too long and had way too much pink and too many flowers). I apologize to all of my attendants who had to endure those dresses. I would do so many things differently if I was getting married today, but I would marry the same guy, over and over again!
Some of these things we did and I know they have made our marriage great! Others of these, we didn't do and on this side of twenty years, I wish we would have and hopefully we can implement them now and enjoy them for the next twenty years or 40 or more. It's never too late to make little changes today that will greatly impact our tomorrows.
1. Talk to each other as much as you possibly can. Set aside time in the morning and evening to connect.
2. Start a hobby together early. The time will come way too quickly that your children start to leave home and you are going to need something fun to do together.
3. Get over his dirty socks being left on the floor. The sooner that you just start picking them up and putting them in the basket with a joyful heart the quicker it just won't upset you anymore....and it's likely that he will start picking them up too when it doesn't always turn in to an argument between the two of you.
4. Don't EVER get in the habit of saying hurtful things to each other.
5. Don't expect him to know what you are thinking. Tell him kindly, gently, and thoughtfully; not harshly, loudly, or carelessly.
6. You think making love to him in your 20's is amazing, just wait till your 40's!
7. Listen to him! He is a man after God's heart and he lives his life to bring God glory. He is full of wisdom and you can trust him and the two of you together can trust God!
8. Pray together about the big things and the little things.
9. Read and learn together. It will help you be on the same page about things and be able to move forward in unity. It will give you opportunities to discuss your differences.
10. If you need him to do something, let him know, remind him once or twice without getting upset, and let it go if he chooses not to do it. Don't nag, it isn't attractive, neither is whining, or being a brat!
11. Be willing to do things just because he likes to do them or they are important to him. You may never come to like those things but the investment in your relationship will be worth it.
12. Getting a bigger diamond on your 20th anniversary won't mean nearly as much when you get there as you think it does now.
13. Sometimes you might think that you're living a pretty boring, uneventful, tedious, even monotonous life but a life lived fully every day choosing to stay in love with the same man is a monumental accomplishment.
14. Having kids is GREAT and exciting, terrifying, exhilarating, and, hard, and fun all at the same time.
15. You are so in love now with a person you truly barely know, but one day you will know all of his quirks, bad habits, shortcomings and if you will be true to the vows you made, you will love him so much more despite all of those things.
16. You will need to trust the Lord to carry you through hard times, they will come!
17. He is easily satisfied, so the fact that he doesn't complain may also mean that he doesn't compliment much. You can be confident in his love for you.
18. When your sons are teenagers, he may have some different ideas of how to talk to them about things...It's probably because his primary goal is to raise great men, trust him!
19. There are some things he just doesn't think about, he will need you to tell him or remind him...don't get mad about it.(Like when he forgot his drivers license when you left on your honeymoon and instead of going to Jamaica you got to spend an extra night in a sketchy hotel in Atlanta.)
20. Let him know over and over that you love him more with each passing day, that you would choose him again, that you look forward to your tomorrows and that you are grateful for all of your yesterdays.
Some of these things we did and I know they have made our marriage great! Others of these, we didn't do and on this side of twenty years, I wish we would have and hopefully we can implement them now and enjoy them for the next twenty years or 40 or more. It's never too late to make little changes today that will greatly impact our tomorrows.
1. Talk to each other as much as you possibly can. Set aside time in the morning and evening to connect.
2. Start a hobby together early. The time will come way too quickly that your children start to leave home and you are going to need something fun to do together.
3. Get over his dirty socks being left on the floor. The sooner that you just start picking them up and putting them in the basket with a joyful heart the quicker it just won't upset you anymore....and it's likely that he will start picking them up too when it doesn't always turn in to an argument between the two of you.
4. Don't EVER get in the habit of saying hurtful things to each other.
5. Don't expect him to know what you are thinking. Tell him kindly, gently, and thoughtfully; not harshly, loudly, or carelessly.
6. You think making love to him in your 20's is amazing, just wait till your 40's!
7. Listen to him! He is a man after God's heart and he lives his life to bring God glory. He is full of wisdom and you can trust him and the two of you together can trust God!
8. Pray together about the big things and the little things.
9. Read and learn together. It will help you be on the same page about things and be able to move forward in unity. It will give you opportunities to discuss your differences.
10. If you need him to do something, let him know, remind him once or twice without getting upset, and let it go if he chooses not to do it. Don't nag, it isn't attractive, neither is whining, or being a brat!
11. Be willing to do things just because he likes to do them or they are important to him. You may never come to like those things but the investment in your relationship will be worth it.
12. Getting a bigger diamond on your 20th anniversary won't mean nearly as much when you get there as you think it does now.
13. Sometimes you might think that you're living a pretty boring, uneventful, tedious, even monotonous life but a life lived fully every day choosing to stay in love with the same man is a monumental accomplishment.
14. Having kids is GREAT and exciting, terrifying, exhilarating, and, hard, and fun all at the same time.
15. You are so in love now with a person you truly barely know, but one day you will know all of his quirks, bad habits, shortcomings and if you will be true to the vows you made, you will love him so much more despite all of those things.
16. You will need to trust the Lord to carry you through hard times, they will come!
17. He is easily satisfied, so the fact that he doesn't complain may also mean that he doesn't compliment much. You can be confident in his love for you.
18. When your sons are teenagers, he may have some different ideas of how to talk to them about things...It's probably because his primary goal is to raise great men, trust him!
19. There are some things he just doesn't think about, he will need you to tell him or remind him...don't get mad about it.(Like when he forgot his drivers license when you left on your honeymoon and instead of going to Jamaica you got to spend an extra night in a sketchy hotel in Atlanta.)
20. Let him know over and over that you love him more with each passing day, that you would choose him again, that you look forward to your tomorrows and that you are grateful for all of your yesterdays.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Forever Grateful for a Friend
As I backed out of the driveway, tears welled up in my eyes, some tears fell because I felt like I was losing someone, but most fell because I was so thankful that I had found someone. When I found her, over 20 years ago, I had no idea how precious she would become, how much of life we would walk through together, how much our personal likes and dislikes would mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life.
I was in my early twenties and she was even younger. She was graceful and crafty and naturally beautiful and I was clumsy, loved to shop and hid behind lots of makeup and big hair. She was a friend of my boyfriend and ran with his crowd and I can remember driving past our "special place" when he said we were going to double date with her and his best friend.... I objected! "She seems like a nice enough girl, but we have nothing in common." I went through with it anyway, and there began a beautiful friendship.
When she was in college and I was a newlywed she would come and hang out at my house, we shopped, we cooked, we made photo albums together, she helped me make my son's first birthday cake. Sometimes we wouldn't even have anything to say, but could just BE together, she taught me how to do that, I had no idea that a friendship could grow so much with no words at all.
Between us we have birthed 10 babies, but have only one living parent, and we just aren't old enough for that to be the case, so we have cried floods of tears together, many happy, but many the snot-slinging, blubbering, how will I ever get through this tears. We have spent many late, late nights together, sometimes with a few other friends, reading God's word, praying, searching book after book for how to love our husbands deeper, raise our children better, become the woman that we were created to be. She, along with many other friends, has taken care of my home and my family in times when I couldn't. She has helped me see things in my children that I couldn't see and then kept me accountable to speak those things to them, many of which will forever impact their lives.
She is the kind of woman who dreams big and isn't afraid to go after them, or maybe she has been afraid, but pursues her dreams afraid and full of faith! I've watched her dream and attempt things that I would have never had the courage or the know how to do. I have watched her walk through struggles and hard times with such grace and peace. The wisdom that she speaks goes deep to my heart; it challenges me, it encourages me, it propels me to seek the Lord more, to listen to Him more closely, to often times reconsider my position or stance on a subject. We have questioned the ways of God together and always come to the conclusion that regardless of our level of understanding, the He is always for us, that He is always good, and that His grace and love is always enough!
She's not going that far away, we can still text, send facebook messages, be at each other's house in less than two hours if we need to. We can still keep up with what's going on in each other's life and truthfully we will probably not see each other much less now than we have over the past couple of years and she's lived only 10 minutes away but a little piece of my heart was left in her driveway yesterday and I am forever grateful that who she is will forever impact my life.
I was in my early twenties and she was even younger. She was graceful and crafty and naturally beautiful and I was clumsy, loved to shop and hid behind lots of makeup and big hair. She was a friend of my boyfriend and ran with his crowd and I can remember driving past our "special place" when he said we were going to double date with her and his best friend.... I objected! "She seems like a nice enough girl, but we have nothing in common." I went through with it anyway, and there began a beautiful friendship.
When she was in college and I was a newlywed she would come and hang out at my house, we shopped, we cooked, we made photo albums together, she helped me make my son's first birthday cake. Sometimes we wouldn't even have anything to say, but could just BE together, she taught me how to do that, I had no idea that a friendship could grow so much with no words at all.
Between us we have birthed 10 babies, but have only one living parent, and we just aren't old enough for that to be the case, so we have cried floods of tears together, many happy, but many the snot-slinging, blubbering, how will I ever get through this tears. We have spent many late, late nights together, sometimes with a few other friends, reading God's word, praying, searching book after book for how to love our husbands deeper, raise our children better, become the woman that we were created to be. She, along with many other friends, has taken care of my home and my family in times when I couldn't. She has helped me see things in my children that I couldn't see and then kept me accountable to speak those things to them, many of which will forever impact their lives.
She is the kind of woman who dreams big and isn't afraid to go after them, or maybe she has been afraid, but pursues her dreams afraid and full of faith! I've watched her dream and attempt things that I would have never had the courage or the know how to do. I have watched her walk through struggles and hard times with such grace and peace. The wisdom that she speaks goes deep to my heart; it challenges me, it encourages me, it propels me to seek the Lord more, to listen to Him more closely, to often times reconsider my position or stance on a subject. We have questioned the ways of God together and always come to the conclusion that regardless of our level of understanding, the He is always for us, that He is always good, and that His grace and love is always enough!
She's not going that far away, we can still text, send facebook messages, be at each other's house in less than two hours if we need to. We can still keep up with what's going on in each other's life and truthfully we will probably not see each other much less now than we have over the past couple of years and she's lived only 10 minutes away but a little piece of my heart was left in her driveway yesterday and I am forever grateful that who she is will forever impact my life.
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