Rick opened the back door this morning and asked me to come out for a minute. Thinking that he wanted to show me something in the garden, or listen to his thoughts about how to implement an idea from my Backyard Dreams board on Pinterest, I excitedly stepped out the back door. "Isn't that amazing?" he asked. I hesitated and looked around. "Can you believe how great it feels out here?" There was a refreshing chill in the air, one we hadn't felt in a long time, almost as if the season is changing....but wait it's August 15, that can't happen right now. I am left with a dilemma of what to do with this out of the ordinary day, (or few upcoming, non-ordinary days) that don't make much sense in the mind of a non-meteorologist. I love the crisp, refreshing morning, but I enjoy it more because I've experienced the days that weren't so refreshing or beautiful.
It definitely is not your typical mid-August weather here in the south, but come to think of it, there has been very little about this summer that has been typical or normal. We experienced days on end of rain and clouds, not just our late afternoon thunderstorms that we normally have for most of June. In July, temperatures only reached 90 degrees 4 days compared to last year when temperatures were sweltering, only giving us four bearable days were below 90.
Far fewer days were spent at the park or the pool this summer. Our kids may have played indoors a lot more; read more books, played more board games and probably a bit more video games. I started the summer expecting arguments and disagreements and the frequent need to referee but was pleasantly surprised at the end of the summer that I had hardly blown my referee whistle and that our home had been overall ...peaceful. Truthfully, another out of the ordinary surprise of Summer 2013.
Our grass is still green and alive which is great unless you are one of our four sons wishing it was brown and crackly so there would be longer periods between mowing. Our water bill has been less because we haven't had to water our garden or front porch plants, or wash as many loads of beach towels. Our tomato plants thrived in all this rain, but not many of the other veggies we planted did very well at all.
Sometimes, seasons are confusing, unpredictable, or inconsistent, whether natural seasons of the year or seasons of life that we experience, but the truth of the matter is that another season will follow this one, and then another, then, another. Each season isn't always better than the one before but there is always benefit in each and without the hard ones, the ones that seem unbearable like last summer when 27 days of July were between 90-104 can we have appreciation for the easy pleasant ones.
I'm hearing lots of chatter about seasons right now. Yes, the change from summer to fall but also that we, as the body of Christ are entering in to a new season. Just as we may not understand every thing that will happen during the next season; whether revival breaks out in our country or town, whether our unsaved loved one comes to know Jesus, or whether this is the hardest season we have ever walked through, we can trust that just like the sun was there behind the clouds every rainy day in June doing the things the sun does, we can know and trust that our loving God, who knows 10, 50, 100 seasons from now, is with us, completely unchanged by the clouds and circumstances of the day or the season and He is doing what God does. He always loves us and He is always good and we can always trust Him to work things together for the good of those who are His.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
A Letter to the Newlywed Me-Note to Self
It's been 20 years since we committed to spend the rest of our lives together. What were we thinking? There was quite a bit of opposition to us getting married, he was just barely 18(and now we have a child that's almost 18)and I had been pretty fickle and around the block a time or two(or too many to count) when we had my fairy tale wedding(that was way too long and had way too much pink and too many flowers). I apologize to all of my attendants who had to endure those dresses. I would do so many things differently if I was getting married today, but I would marry the same guy, over and over again!
Some of these things we did and I know they have made our marriage great! Others of these, we didn't do and on this side of twenty years, I wish we would have and hopefully we can implement them now and enjoy them for the next twenty years or 40 or more. It's never too late to make little changes today that will greatly impact our tomorrows.
1. Talk to each other as much as you possibly can. Set aside time in the morning and evening to connect.
2. Start a hobby together early. The time will come way too quickly that your children start to leave home and you are going to need something fun to do together.
3. Get over his dirty socks being left on the floor. The sooner that you just start picking them up and putting them in the basket with a joyful heart the quicker it just won't upset you anymore....and it's likely that he will start picking them up too when it doesn't always turn in to an argument between the two of you.
4. Don't EVER get in the habit of saying hurtful things to each other.
5. Don't expect him to know what you are thinking. Tell him kindly, gently, and thoughtfully; not harshly, loudly, or carelessly.
6. You think making love to him in your 20's is amazing, just wait till your 40's!
7. Listen to him! He is a man after God's heart and he lives his life to bring God glory. He is full of wisdom and you can trust him and the two of you together can trust God!
8. Pray together about the big things and the little things.
9. Read and learn together. It will help you be on the same page about things and be able to move forward in unity. It will give you opportunities to discuss your differences.
10. If you need him to do something, let him know, remind him once or twice without getting upset, and let it go if he chooses not to do it. Don't nag, it isn't attractive, neither is whining, or being a brat!
11. Be willing to do things just because he likes to do them or they are important to him. You may never come to like those things but the investment in your relationship will be worth it.
12. Getting a bigger diamond on your 20th anniversary won't mean nearly as much when you get there as you think it does now.
13. Sometimes you might think that you're living a pretty boring, uneventful, tedious, even monotonous life but a life lived fully every day choosing to stay in love with the same man is a monumental accomplishment.
14. Having kids is GREAT and exciting, terrifying, exhilarating, and, hard, and fun all at the same time.
15. You are so in love now with a person you truly barely know, but one day you will know all of his quirks, bad habits, shortcomings and if you will be true to the vows you made, you will love him so much more despite all of those things.
16. You will need to trust the Lord to carry you through hard times, they will come!
17. He is easily satisfied, so the fact that he doesn't complain may also mean that he doesn't compliment much. You can be confident in his love for you.
18. When your sons are teenagers, he may have some different ideas of how to talk to them about things...It's probably because his primary goal is to raise great men, trust him!
19. There are some things he just doesn't think about, he will need you to tell him or remind him...don't get mad about it.(Like when he forgot his drivers license when you left on your honeymoon and instead of going to Jamaica you got to spend an extra night in a sketchy hotel in Atlanta.)
20. Let him know over and over that you love him more with each passing day, that you would choose him again, that you look forward to your tomorrows and that you are grateful for all of your yesterdays.
Some of these things we did and I know they have made our marriage great! Others of these, we didn't do and on this side of twenty years, I wish we would have and hopefully we can implement them now and enjoy them for the next twenty years or 40 or more. It's never too late to make little changes today that will greatly impact our tomorrows.
1. Talk to each other as much as you possibly can. Set aside time in the morning and evening to connect.
2. Start a hobby together early. The time will come way too quickly that your children start to leave home and you are going to need something fun to do together.
3. Get over his dirty socks being left on the floor. The sooner that you just start picking them up and putting them in the basket with a joyful heart the quicker it just won't upset you anymore....and it's likely that he will start picking them up too when it doesn't always turn in to an argument between the two of you.
4. Don't EVER get in the habit of saying hurtful things to each other.
5. Don't expect him to know what you are thinking. Tell him kindly, gently, and thoughtfully; not harshly, loudly, or carelessly.
6. You think making love to him in your 20's is amazing, just wait till your 40's!
7. Listen to him! He is a man after God's heart and he lives his life to bring God glory. He is full of wisdom and you can trust him and the two of you together can trust God!
8. Pray together about the big things and the little things.
9. Read and learn together. It will help you be on the same page about things and be able to move forward in unity. It will give you opportunities to discuss your differences.
10. If you need him to do something, let him know, remind him once or twice without getting upset, and let it go if he chooses not to do it. Don't nag, it isn't attractive, neither is whining, or being a brat!
11. Be willing to do things just because he likes to do them or they are important to him. You may never come to like those things but the investment in your relationship will be worth it.
12. Getting a bigger diamond on your 20th anniversary won't mean nearly as much when you get there as you think it does now.
13. Sometimes you might think that you're living a pretty boring, uneventful, tedious, even monotonous life but a life lived fully every day choosing to stay in love with the same man is a monumental accomplishment.
14. Having kids is GREAT and exciting, terrifying, exhilarating, and, hard, and fun all at the same time.
15. You are so in love now with a person you truly barely know, but one day you will know all of his quirks, bad habits, shortcomings and if you will be true to the vows you made, you will love him so much more despite all of those things.
16. You will need to trust the Lord to carry you through hard times, they will come!
17. He is easily satisfied, so the fact that he doesn't complain may also mean that he doesn't compliment much. You can be confident in his love for you.
18. When your sons are teenagers, he may have some different ideas of how to talk to them about things...It's probably because his primary goal is to raise great men, trust him!
19. There are some things he just doesn't think about, he will need you to tell him or remind him...don't get mad about it.(Like when he forgot his drivers license when you left on your honeymoon and instead of going to Jamaica you got to spend an extra night in a sketchy hotel in Atlanta.)
20. Let him know over and over that you love him more with each passing day, that you would choose him again, that you look forward to your tomorrows and that you are grateful for all of your yesterdays.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Forever Grateful for a Friend
As I backed out of the driveway, tears welled up in my eyes, some tears fell because I felt like I was losing someone, but most fell because I was so thankful that I had found someone. When I found her, over 20 years ago, I had no idea how precious she would become, how much of life we would walk through together, how much our personal likes and dislikes would mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life.
I was in my early twenties and she was even younger. She was graceful and crafty and naturally beautiful and I was clumsy, loved to shop and hid behind lots of makeup and big hair. She was a friend of my boyfriend and ran with his crowd and I can remember driving past our "special place" when he said we were going to double date with her and his best friend.... I objected! "She seems like a nice enough girl, but we have nothing in common." I went through with it anyway, and there began a beautiful friendship.
When she was in college and I was a newlywed she would come and hang out at my house, we shopped, we cooked, we made photo albums together, she helped me make my son's first birthday cake. Sometimes we wouldn't even have anything to say, but could just BE together, she taught me how to do that, I had no idea that a friendship could grow so much with no words at all.
Between us we have birthed 10 babies, but have only one living parent, and we just aren't old enough for that to be the case, so we have cried floods of tears together, many happy, but many the snot-slinging, blubbering, how will I ever get through this tears. We have spent many late, late nights together, sometimes with a few other friends, reading God's word, praying, searching book after book for how to love our husbands deeper, raise our children better, become the woman that we were created to be. She, along with many other friends, has taken care of my home and my family in times when I couldn't. She has helped me see things in my children that I couldn't see and then kept me accountable to speak those things to them, many of which will forever impact their lives.
She is the kind of woman who dreams big and isn't afraid to go after them, or maybe she has been afraid, but pursues her dreams afraid and full of faith! I've watched her dream and attempt things that I would have never had the courage or the know how to do. I have watched her walk through struggles and hard times with such grace and peace. The wisdom that she speaks goes deep to my heart; it challenges me, it encourages me, it propels me to seek the Lord more, to listen to Him more closely, to often times reconsider my position or stance on a subject. We have questioned the ways of God together and always come to the conclusion that regardless of our level of understanding, the He is always for us, that He is always good, and that His grace and love is always enough!
She's not going that far away, we can still text, send facebook messages, be at each other's house in less than two hours if we need to. We can still keep up with what's going on in each other's life and truthfully we will probably not see each other much less now than we have over the past couple of years and she's lived only 10 minutes away but a little piece of my heart was left in her driveway yesterday and I am forever grateful that who she is will forever impact my life.
I was in my early twenties and she was even younger. She was graceful and crafty and naturally beautiful and I was clumsy, loved to shop and hid behind lots of makeup and big hair. She was a friend of my boyfriend and ran with his crowd and I can remember driving past our "special place" when he said we were going to double date with her and his best friend.... I objected! "She seems like a nice enough girl, but we have nothing in common." I went through with it anyway, and there began a beautiful friendship.
When she was in college and I was a newlywed she would come and hang out at my house, we shopped, we cooked, we made photo albums together, she helped me make my son's first birthday cake. Sometimes we wouldn't even have anything to say, but could just BE together, she taught me how to do that, I had no idea that a friendship could grow so much with no words at all.
Between us we have birthed 10 babies, but have only one living parent, and we just aren't old enough for that to be the case, so we have cried floods of tears together, many happy, but many the snot-slinging, blubbering, how will I ever get through this tears. We have spent many late, late nights together, sometimes with a few other friends, reading God's word, praying, searching book after book for how to love our husbands deeper, raise our children better, become the woman that we were created to be. She, along with many other friends, has taken care of my home and my family in times when I couldn't. She has helped me see things in my children that I couldn't see and then kept me accountable to speak those things to them, many of which will forever impact their lives.
She is the kind of woman who dreams big and isn't afraid to go after them, or maybe she has been afraid, but pursues her dreams afraid and full of faith! I've watched her dream and attempt things that I would have never had the courage or the know how to do. I have watched her walk through struggles and hard times with such grace and peace. The wisdom that she speaks goes deep to my heart; it challenges me, it encourages me, it propels me to seek the Lord more, to listen to Him more closely, to often times reconsider my position or stance on a subject. We have questioned the ways of God together and always come to the conclusion that regardless of our level of understanding, the He is always for us, that He is always good, and that His grace and love is always enough!
She's not going that far away, we can still text, send facebook messages, be at each other's house in less than two hours if we need to. We can still keep up with what's going on in each other's life and truthfully we will probably not see each other much less now than we have over the past couple of years and she's lived only 10 minutes away but a little piece of my heart was left in her driveway yesterday and I am forever grateful that who she is will forever impact my life.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
HONOR
Again, this year I chose a word at the beginning of the year to be my "WORD." I've done this for a couple of years and I typically study the word, its meaning, look for examples of it in the Bible and then try to live my day to day life with that word guiding my thoughts and actions.
This year, HONOR is my word. I thought it was an interesting word and really wasn't sure how it would play out this year. I have been shocked at the number of times I have had the opportunity to choose HONOR over dishonor... with my thoughts, words, and actions.
In Romans 12:10, the Bible says "Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other."...TAKE DELIGHT IN HONORING each other!! Who are each others???Our children, our neighbors, our co-workers, our bosses, our parents, our spouses and even our President. As a parent, I am fully aware that my children don't always agree with what I say or the rules that I implement, but, I do encourage them that to live a life that honors and glorifies God they should Honor their parents. On this day, I am reminding myself to Honor our President, eventhough he and I would disagree in many areas...
As I keep reading in Romans 12, I am encouraged to "REJOICE in our confident hope(Jesus), BE PATIENT in trouble and KEEP ON PRAYING/ When God's people are in need, BE READY TO HELP them. BLESS those who persecute you and DON'T CURSE THEM; and PRAY that GOD will BLESS them. BE HAPPY with those who are happy and WEEP with those who weep. LIVE IN HARMONY with each other. DON'T BE TOO PROUD to enjoy the company of ordinary people and DON"T THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL." The things in bold are what I will choose to do, not because they are easy, not because I agree with the plans of our President, but because HONOR is what I believe is right. I can trust that God knew the outcome of the election long ago and He still saw fit to let the sun rise this morning. I will continue to pray for him and the leaders of our country and ask God to BLESS HIM with wisdom. I choose HONOR today because it is RIGHT!
This year, HONOR is my word. I thought it was an interesting word and really wasn't sure how it would play out this year. I have been shocked at the number of times I have had the opportunity to choose HONOR over dishonor... with my thoughts, words, and actions.
In Romans 12:10, the Bible says "Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other."...TAKE DELIGHT IN HONORING each other!! Who are each others???Our children, our neighbors, our co-workers, our bosses, our parents, our spouses and even our President. As a parent, I am fully aware that my children don't always agree with what I say or the rules that I implement, but, I do encourage them that to live a life that honors and glorifies God they should Honor their parents. On this day, I am reminding myself to Honor our President, eventhough he and I would disagree in many areas...
As I keep reading in Romans 12, I am encouraged to "REJOICE in our confident hope(Jesus), BE PATIENT in trouble and KEEP ON PRAYING/ When God's people are in need, BE READY TO HELP them. BLESS those who persecute you and DON'T CURSE THEM; and PRAY that GOD will BLESS them. BE HAPPY with those who are happy and WEEP with those who weep. LIVE IN HARMONY with each other. DON'T BE TOO PROUD to enjoy the company of ordinary people and DON"T THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL." The things in bold are what I will choose to do, not because they are easy, not because I agree with the plans of our President, but because HONOR is what I believe is right. I can trust that God knew the outcome of the election long ago and He still saw fit to let the sun rise this morning. I will continue to pray for him and the leaders of our country and ask God to BLESS HIM with wisdom. I choose HONOR today because it is RIGHT!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Lessons Learned in 40 years
1. Choosing to not forgive someone is always more damaging to me than the person I choose not to forgive.
2. Living gratefully helps time slow down and helps me enjoy every moment more.
3. Kindness and gentleness have gotten me to a much better place in life than harshness and selfishness.
4. Sometimes we have to make decisions that are right for our family that offend other people.
5. Humility is a better way than pride.
6. Things and people don't have to be perfect for me to walk in love, peace, and joy!
7. If I have unfair and unrealistic expectations of others, I always end up disappointed.
8. Reading God's word and applying it to my life changes me everyday, little by little into the person I desire to be.
9. Doing the right things consistently doesn't always bring change as quickly as I would like it to.(only losing 4 lbs in the 3 months that I have been trying.) But quitting and giving up NEVER bring change.
10. Right is right no matter what the circumstances are.
11. Having a great marriage takes intentional effort.
12. Just when we thought we had parenting figured out, our kids became teenagers and its as if we have started playing a whole new ballgame.
13. Sometimes God does put more on us than we can handle so that we recognize our need for Him(so we don't think we can do it all without Him.)
14. I can learn so much from our children and I always want to be open to what they have to teach me.
15. My husband is usually right!
16. I love a new haircut and a Mani/Pedi.
17. Having each of my children help me in the kitchen one day a week has created something with each of them that I believe will have a positive, long-term, lasting effect on our relationship.
18. A few friends that will love you at your worst are a treasure and a gift!
19. Daughters and sons are different but one is not easier than the other.
20.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Don't be Afraid, God has a Plan!!
This time, ten years ago, I was preparing to send my husband on his first missions trip to the Phillipines for two weeks. At the time, we had a 6, 4, 2, and one year old. I remember the crippling fear that I had to work through when I would have thoughts like, "What if something happens to him?" "I can't raise our children with no daddy." Thoughts like these came more and more as the time drew near for him to leave.
I confided my fears to someone else and let them help me carry the burden and take it to Jesus. I made it through those two weeks and he returned home safely. I relied on God's word while he was gone and was very encouraged and loved by LOTS of people making it much easier than I had anticipated. I wish I could say that was the last time I dealt with fear that year, but it was only the beginning. Shortly after he got back, I began experiencing terrible stomach pains and after driving myself to the hospital in the middle of the night because he needed to stay at home with the children we found out that my gall bladder needed to come out SOON. I had a little bit of fear going in to the surgery but nothing that I couldn't just get beyond. Within 48 hours of the surgery when I should have been feeling considerably better, I began running a high fever, and again having severe pain...Fear rushed in...I didn't think I would live through this.
I spent the next 5 weeks in the hospital and the doctors explained to Rick that I was very sick and might not make it...I won't drag out the gory details of the following weeks but I vividly remember sometime during the second week as my body was withering and doped up, my mind, oblivious, God spoke to my heart,"You shall not die, but live." At that point fear was broken and I began to make some improvements. I kept reminding myself of what I had heard and when I shared it with Rick, we realized these were the same words from Psalm 118:13,17 "My enemies did their best to kill me, but the Lord rescued me. I will not die but live to tell what the Lord has done."
It came as quite a shock to us after being out of the hospital for only 2 months that I was pregnant. Immediately, I was consumed with fear. Would I be able to carry this baby? Would he/she have abnormalities or problems as a result of the 13-16 pills I was still on every day? Would he be born and then I would lose him? The questions were unending, but I began to study and believe the Lord led me to Genesis 50:20-21 and I knew that I could apply these verses to my life also. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so that I could save the lives of many people. No, don't be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children."
Unfortunately, I look at my 30th year of life as the Year of Fear.... Afraid of losing my husband, afraid of dying and my children having no momma, afraid of losing a child....BUT GOD is SO GOOD....
The day I found out I was pregnant, I stopped taking ALL of those pills and spent the next months telling the Lord that I would trust Him. Rick and I had always said that we wanted to be finished having babies by the time I was 30 and that we had compromised because he wanted two children and I wanted 6 and as far as we knew at that point the 6, 4,,2,and 1 year olds that we had were a complete package for us. I have never been so happy to be SO wrong. God was gracious and gave us a constant reminder of His faithfulness an hour after I turned 31 when Aidan Titus was born. He was whole, healthy, completely protected and unaffected by all the drugs that went through his little body in it's early weeks of formation. His name means Giant Fire....the giant fire that the enemy planted in my stomach with all intentions of ending me, GOD intended for my GOOD. God kept Aidan in place until just after that 30th year ended to say to me,"I am doing a new thing!" It took me over half of the next decade and the birth of another precious baby to fully understand a little more about God's faithfulness!
What I thought about life when I was 30 is so different than what I think of life as I approach 40 and instead of being gripped by fear and thinking in such a small box,I look at this next decade excitedly, I can't wait to see what God has in mind for us, our children, and probably before a new decade comes, our grandchildren...I know now that I can trust that His plans and the prophecies in those verses he planted in my heart are bigger than my fears. HE is FAITHFUL and I can trust HIM!
Friday, January 13, 2012
What does it all mean?
Have you ever had a thought, that seemed to not go away and over time, God shows you more and more of the picture? I shared a few days ago that I had felt a leading of the Lord to refresh my spanish speaking. Not knowing why, I have hesitated. I mentioned it to a few people and one of them specifically said, she had had a dream about me leading a ministry to spanish speaking women, she thought possibly in another country. One of the missionaries at our church ministers in Guatemala and recently has been working with people who live in the city garbage dump. I have been reading and soaking up every word from an author named Ann Voskamp who's book I read last year and I am getting ready to lead a study with a few ladies centered around the principles she talks about in the book. I was reading her blog the other day, and couldn't believe my eyes or the feeling in my heart as she talked about having met a man, Saul, when she was in Guatemala who had been ministering in the garbage dump. It was not, Patrick, our friend who lives there but the irony, coincidence,and specifics of it all really did a number on me! This past week as I spoke to some other missionaries who just returned from Guatemala working in an orphanage, my heartstrings are being tugged upon...I don't know what it all means. I don't know when, how, or what it will take to get there, but, I am very much feeling like the time to GO is drawing near...I want to be faithful, follow His voice, be used as an instrument in the hands of my creator to bless, encourage, teach, love and whatever else He invites me an blesses me with the opportunity to do.
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